Tag: Family

I Had Mail.

Posted on
Aug 10, 2020
 
Posted in: Personal Essay

Six months into an interminable lockdown, I find myself missing the long dead. The throughline feels like a logical one – it’s a pandemic. Of course I’m thinking about death. Death and the post office. That took me slightly by surprise, even in a year where nothing has been what I’d imagined. I didn’t think…

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What is Left When We Go.

Posted on
Apr 12, 2019
 

We went to Germany, and I cried. Not right away. It wasn’t until the last day that I finally did. Rand asked if I wanted to rent a car to go down to see my father’s grave. He asked me in the early hours of the morning, when jet lag had us both exhausted but…

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There is No Such Thing As Closure

Posted on
Mar 29, 2019
 

I am scheduled to leave for Germany in several days. I have already told my husband that I don’t want to go, in a whining tone that stretches syllables out so far that the words they once formed are barely recognizable. As a woman nearing the aging of forty, this is how I am coping…

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Slip Sliding Away

Posted on
Mar 28, 2017
 

By the time we land in Seattle, I am tired of people asking about the contents of the plastic toolbox. Both Rand and I have carried it from my father’s tiny Bavarian village to Munich to Amsterdam and now home, each of us now acutely aware of how ill-suited a container it is for transportation.…

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Time Keeps Passing.

Posted on
Dec 12, 2016
 
Posted in: Personal Essay

The thing about time is that it moves on, even if you aren’t ready to. My father died last week. While I remain stuck, trying to grasp that fact, the days keep passing. I still hadn’t processed the statement “My father died today” or “My father died yesterday” before the clock had rendered them obsolete.…

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Father’s Day Cards for Broken People.

Posted on
Jun 21, 2015
 
Posted in: Random Musings

Father’s Day is always kind of tough for me. My dad lives in Germany, and has since before I can remember, so we don’t usually spend the holiday together. Normally, I just call him, and we have the sort of awkward exchange that only two people with virtually nothing in common – except for a…

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