There’s an old Cary Grant movie called People Will Talk. If you haven’t seen it, go do so now. I’ll wait. … Wasn’t it amazing? I know. I love it, too. I have a weak spot for Cary Grant. Actually, I have several weak spots for Cary Grant, and they’re all located around my knees, or thereabouts.…
– Friends, let me tell you something: steroids are terrible. Many of you are probably wondering why a perfect physical specimen such as myself would need to resort to steroids in the first place. After all, my body is temple (albeit one dedicated to sloth and cupcakes). The answer is, simply, brain surgery. Steroids are commonly given…
There are several places where Rand’s culture and mine overlap: – At that intersection, you will find weird issues about food. And weird issues about mothers. Crippling guilt makes an appearance, too. And weirdly, the mafia can be found there.
– I hope Bill and I become friends. He looks sort of like a grown-up version of the kid from Up. He has the raspy, mumbling accent of a lifelong west coaster. Where every word lazily drips out of his mouth and spreads itself out on a sunny patch of grass.
There are locations and happenings that, in my mind, hold a sort of mythical status. They are things which I’ve long heard and read about, and if I am truly lucky, if my life is as truly charmed as I believe it to be, I am able to see them. The list is long and…
– I have a confession. It’s kind of a doozy. Are you ready? Here goes … I don’t love chocolate. Hey, where are you going? Hello… ? Wait … what is that? Is that a straight jacket? OH DEAR GOD WHY DO YOU HAVE A STRAIGHT-JACKET?
Before I tell you about the Deutsches Museum, I need to tell you about one of my greatest fears. I am terrified that one day, I will be either 1.) abducted by aliens or 2.) frozen in some sort of cryogenic state and thawed out thousands of years in the future. This is not the…
– The English Garden (or Englischer Garten, for those of you who insist on showing off the B you earned in high school German class) is a massive public park located near downtown Munich.
– It’s not easy being Portland. Staying on the cutting edge of weird, on the forefront of WTF, can only be exhausting. The city is constantly inventing, perfecting, and growing tired of things that won’t reach the rest of us until months or even years later. They are the connoisseurs of pastimes we don’t yet know exist.
Tales of Food, Feminism, and Fury
by Geraldine DeRuiter
Available Now!
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