Bavarian food doesn’t f#ck around. Bavarian food is the guy at the gym in the tiny muscle tee who’s lifting weights so heavy, the veins in his neck and head (and other parts of the body that you didn’t even know HAD veins) start to pop out. Bavaria‘s cuisine is a monster truck. It crumples…
Dear PR People (at least, I assume it’s PR people, and not random folks who are just really excited about spring break and luggage) who have been attacking my inbox with an onslaught of incredibly dry, often misspelled press releases; Please stop. You are wasting your time. I have never done more than occasionally skim…
There are some arguments that will consume you. They will take over your entire mind and body, so that you find yourself shaking with rage, unable to think of anything else. Your hands clench into fists, your teeth gnash together, and you are filled with anger and the conviction that DEAR GOD YOU ARE RIGHT…
There are plenty of things in life that are beyond my understanding. The entire field of Physics, for one. The enduring appeal of Two and a Half Men, for another. Grooming your dog to look like another animal. The fact that Snooki published a NY Times best seller (sweet Lord in heaven, how? I DO…
The inner workings of my soul and a dark and hostile place. My husband has been with me for nearly 10 years, and there are still times when I will say something so full of vitriol and spite that he will look at me, his eyes wide, and whisper, “Jesus Christ, Geraldine.” My response to…
To the little blond kid on Alaska Air Flight #232, It seems we’ve gotten off on the wrong foot. I see this as largely your fault, of course. When you saw me quietly sleeping in my chair, you – for reasons that defy logic (Was it curiosity? Thoughtlessness? Demonic possession? I’m leaning towards the latter)…
Rand thinks I’m overly superstitious. I, in turn, think that he’s constantly tempting fate into screwing with us. Take the following scenario, which happens at least once a month: Rand and I are driving to the airport. We are almost running late, but not quite. If we are able to keep up the miraculous average…
Since my post last week about our life-threatening encounter with a moth the size of a pigeon* I’ve had a lot of people kindly inform me that moths cannot, in fact, bite. They keep pestering me with “facts” and “reality”. Ugh. The biggest argument as to why moths cannot bite is that they have nothing…
I have a brilliant idea for a horror movie. It would begin like this: A couple – a young man and woman – enter a hotel room. For the purposes of casting, let’s say that the man, dark-haired, bearded and handsome, will be played by Joshua Jackson. And the woman will be played…
Tales of Food, Feminism, and Fury
by Geraldine DeRuiter
Available Now!
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