The inner workings of my soul and a dark and hostile place. My husband has been with me for nearly 10 years, and there are still times when I will say something so full of vitriol and spite that he will look at me, his eyes wide, and whisper, “Jesus Christ, Geraldine.” My response to…
To the little blond kid on Alaska Air Flight #232, It seems we’ve gotten off on the wrong foot. I see this as largely your fault, of course. When you saw me quietly sleeping in my chair, you – for reasons that defy logic (Was it curiosity? Thoughtlessness? Demonic possession? I’m leaning towards the latter)…
Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and it is with no small measure of shame that I realize I haven’t even talked about Halloween. Or last summer, for that matter. I’ve fallen so behind on my blog I’ve become unstuck in time. So much so that I didn’t realize how bizarre this next photo was. I came across…
On occasion, I like to think of myself as a badass. I’m not, mind you, but I like to think of myself as one. I also like to think of myself as elegant, demure, clear-skinned, and clever. Compared to those far greater delusions “badass” doesn’t seem so unreasonable. Especially when it comes to food. A…
Rand thinks I’m overly superstitious. I, in turn, think that he’s constantly tempting fate into screwing with us. Take the following scenario, which happens at least once a month: Rand and I are driving to the airport. We are almost running late, but not quite. If we are able to keep up the miraculous average…
I’ve spent the last week at home. It’s been all kinds of fabulous, really. I got to do laundry. And sit on my own couch. And sleep in my own bed, never once waking up to wonder where the heck I was. Fabulous, I tell you. Of course, it’s only temporary, but I’m going to…
This week, the motherboard on my computer broke. I’m not even sure what that statement means. Not since I cracked my ulna the summer after second grade have I broken something, suffered a large amount of inconvenience as a result, and still barely understood what was broken in the first place. The good news is…
I forget that, during my travels, I occasionally hand other people my camera. I won’t realize it until after I’ve uploaded all my photos to Flickr. There will be a few snapshots in the stream that I didn’t know existed. Sometimes, they’re awful. And sometimes … – I generally hate surprises. Let’s be fair: they…
My first vehicle was a 1976 AMC Pacer. (Please try to control your jealousy.) Because the seat did not adjust properly, I needed to sit on a large pillow to see over the steering wheel (I am short). Because the breaks were not the strongest in the world, I had to stand on the brake…
Tales of Food, Feminism, and Fury
by Geraldine DeRuiter
Paperback Available March 11th
Also available in hardcover, e-book, and audiobook from these booksellers:
