WTF Wednesday: German Apples, Printed with Hearts

I can't believe this is real. I fear for the children.

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Rand and I saw these while walking around the Viktualienmarkt in Munich, and stared at them, our mouths agape. I might have screamed a little, covering my cry with a trembling hand.

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Apparently Germany has the technology to make apples with little hearts printed on them. I, for one, am freaked out by all of this. I mean, if they can tattoo apples, what else is in their power? What evil creations are they making? WE CANNOT PLAY GOD WITHOUT FACING GRAVE CONSEQUENCES, PEOPLE. I told you this back when turkey bacon first came out, and no one listened. Now, as a direct result, we have global warming. THINK ABOUT WHERE THIS WILL LEAD.

Ahem. Sorry. Sometimes I get worked up about food. One time Rand brought me a Grapple and it nearly ended in divorce.

As for these apples, I have a theory about how they were created: the grower puts a sticker on the apples while still on the tree (before they are ripe) and a few days later, take them off. The parts of the apple under the sticker (that weren’t exposed to sunlight) don’t change color, and remain yellow.

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I mean, I think that’s what’s going on. Wait, does sunlight actually change the color of ripening fruit?

Sigh. Whatever. If you need me, I’ll be hiding under my covers until the polar ice caps come back, bacon is once again made of pork, and apples are returned to their natural, boring state.