The Week: July 1, 2011

My productivity this week has been lower than normal – which is somewhat shameful. When someone’s “work” consists of rambling on about travels and eating sweets, it is all kinds of unforgivable when they slack off. So today, believe it or not, I am determined to hunker down, get focused, and get ridiculous amounts of work done.

What’s that you say? It’s Friday? And the Friday before a three-day weekend? Well, shoot … maybe productivity can make just a little longer. In the meantime, enjoy these time wasters, as I did.

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A tiny chihuahua herding sheep. It is … weirdly inspirational, actually.

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Continuing on the trend of tiny, awesome things, Jessica Hlavac creates miniature culinary masterpieces. Sadly, they are inedible, but still gloriously fun to look at.

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And one more petite pleasure for your Friday: I couldn’t remember if I had already posted this picture of a tiny wiener dog wearing a bun. Then I realized, it doesn’t really matter.

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The city of Orlando started ticketing folks for feeding the homeless without permits (seriously, Florida? Do you really need more bad press? Rick Scott is your governor, for the love of the Pete). This drew the attention of Anonymous, who’s responded by shutting Orlando-themed sites. Damn.

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In some distressing (but not really surprising) news, TSA employees at Logan Airport have identified a “cancer cluster” in their ranks, primarily among those working with the backscatter x-ray machines. TSA workers in Portland and Puerto Rico have reported similar findings. The TSA is unresponsive on the matter.

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I don’t know what I love more about this: the blurry footage claiming to be of Bigfoot, or the headline: “Bigfoot sighting ‘scared the crap’ out of hikers.”

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I have never hid my love of cheese. Just this morning the good folks at Tillamook tweeted at me, and I nearly died of happiness. But this post, by my pal Jessica (aka @ItalyLogue) is all kinds of horrifying, even for a cheese-junkie like me: Sardinia and its Illegal Cheese (spoiler: it has maggots. On PURPOSE).

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When the news becomes comedic, and when comics make the news: Stephen Colbert’s Super PAC was approved this week, meaning his committee can raise and spend unlimited amounts supporting or opposing candidates in the 2012 election. I cannot wait to see where this goes.

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Malaysia Airlines has banned babies from flying first class. A warning to mouth-breathers, loud-talkers, and the non-gorgeous: you’re next.

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Swoon. Look who was in the audience at the first space shuttle showing.

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A short film which exposes every practically every movie cliche, ever. Check out Red Giant’s Plot Device. (Note: it starts out slowly, so give it a minute. Also, it does NOT star my brother. Which is lame.)

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It’s Canada Day! Check out my post from last year (it still holds true. Canadian awesomeness is timeless): 23 Reasons Why Canada (and Canadians) are Awesome.

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And since the Fourth of July is on Monday, I’d like to offer an important piece of safety advice. Many, many years ago, my cousin’s friend Brennan held onto a firecracker too long, and it exploded in his hand. He screamed that he had blown his finger off, but – silly him! – it was just an incredibly bad and painful burn. We all ridiculed him for years to come (“You thought you had maimed yourself! HA HA HA HA HA”), and still do to this day. So be careful not to let firecrackers explode in your hands, because even if you aren’t permanently injured, your asshole friends and relatives will mock you for decades to come.

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Alrighty, folks – that’s it for me this week. Have a safe and wonderful holiday if you’re stateside, and a wonderful weekend if you are not. Except if you are British. You bastards charged us too much for tea or whatever, so now we get a day off to eat barbecue and watch fireworks (so … yeah. Take that, Britain).