In Which A Bluff Is Called, In the Buff
My husband’s Twitter account is a lot more professional than mine, because my husband is a lot more professional than I am. He’s also not really into PDAs, and so it’s pretty easy for me to embarrass him by simply mentioning that *lowers voice* we sometimes do adult things together.
So on a regular basis, I invade my husband’s Twitter mentions and tell him to stop whatever he’s doing and come suck face with me. Lately, he’s been working on instructional videos for his new company. While he’s great on camera (look, he just is! It’s not even me being biased because I think he’s a smokeshow!), actually doing the A/V work is pretty uncharted territory for him, so he gets on Twitter to ask people for advice on how things look, and what he should do differently. A lot of the answers are really helpful and supportive.
I also have things to say.
Lower the camera and take off shirt and maybe pants.
— Geraldine (@everywhereist) May 6, 2021
okay but why are you still wearing a shirt, i thought i made myself clear
— Geraldine (@everywhereist) April 27, 2021
Anyway, apparently I’ve been doing stuff like this for a while?
I just found a picture of you as a naked toddler holding a bucket over your winky.
— Geraldine (@everywhereist) November 4, 2016
Honestly, I’m just kind of a nightmare of a wife.
YOU CAN REPORT IT FOR ASSMENT.
— Geraldine (@everywhereist) May 6, 2021
Anyway, today I did it again.
TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF
— Geraldine (@everywhereist) June 3, 2021
The thing about Rand is that while he’s pretty good at playing the straight-man in this carnival ride of wedded whimsical fuckery, every now and then I push a little too far and … well … he’ll call me on my bluff.
— Rand Fishkin (@randfish) June 3, 2021
Touché, Mr. Fishkin. Though I’d like to think we’re all winners here: him, for having that chest, me, for getting to appreciate it on the regular, and the good people of Twitter, who get to see it for the first time.
Now if you’ll excuse me …
sneaking into your office right now to make out
— Geraldine (@everywhereist) June 3, 2021