Do Penguins Have Knees? Are Their Mouths Basically Sarlacc Pits? (And Other Important Penguin-related Stuff.)

Posted on
May 22, 2015
 
Posted in: Random Musings

The last few days have led to a lot of important discussions about flightless birds. As though there is any other kind of discussion you can have about flightless birds. AM I RIGHT?

I figured I was the first person to have been clever enough to compare a penguin’s mouth to a Sarlacc pit, as I did in Thursday’s post, but it turns out that’s not the case. Apparently almost every computer literate person on the planet has already realized this.

I nevertheless figured it would help to create a side-by-side comparison. You know. Because science.

My apologies for using a picture of the new Sarlacc pit from the Lucas reboot abomination.

In related news, I am never sleeping again.

Then, while writing my post about ostriches, I naturally started to wonder if penguins had knees. I figured I should ask Google, since this is clearly an important question, and I got as far as “do penguins …” before autosuggest burst to life:

Here I thought I was some great penguin philosopher, but apparently everyone in the world has already wondered about penguins and their (seemingly useless) knees, too. Turns out that they do have them. They just don’t really work all that well.

This is comforting for those of us with a paralyzing fear of penguins’ mouths. We now know that all we need to do to reach safety is to stand on an elevated platform. As long as the penguins don’t discover ramp technology, we’ll be fine.

OH SWEET JESUS WE ARE ALL DOOMED.

Fuuuuuuudge.

But perhaps the most magical thing to emerge from all my penguin-related “research” has been this video that my friend Adam sent to me. Adam, for the record, is just the bee’s knees (wait, do bees have knees?), and is always sending me ridiculously cool links. He’s like my personal Google for awesome things.

Yesterday, he sent me this video of Benedict Cumberbatch trying to say “Penguins.” You have to watch it, immediately.

I cried, you guys. I cried because it was beautiful.

This concludes your penguin-related broadcast.

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