10 Photos of Las Vegas: the Neon Boneyard, Chocolate Fountains, and Giant Bees.

I have never really liked Las Vegas.

That statement may sound like blasphemy to some of you. And it’s almost a surprise to me, too. After all, Vegas is an entire town built around the Seven Deadly Sins – and you guys know how much I love those. I try to incorporate at least four of them into every single day (fact: I have eaten 3 desserts in the last 12 hours). But despite this, Vegas never managed to strike a chord with me.

I’m not a gambler, for one. I hardly drink. And for women in Vegas, the dress code seems to be as follows:

• Velour track suit with some sort of word emblazoned across the posterior, revealing clues as to the wearer’s inner psyche: “JUICY” is what I most often see, but “PHAT” or “PINK” or “SLUTTY” or “I MISS MY ESTRANGED FATHER” also seem to be popular choices.
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• Black cocktail dresses which may in fact simply be orthopedic support hose worn around the body.
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• Shorts.

Friends, I spend my days eating cupcakes. I do not need pants which are designed to draw attention to my already-more-than-ample butt. And my proportions are such that I do not look good in teeny tiny cocktail dresses. Have you even seen a sausage heated until it’s about to burst from its casing? It’s kind of like that.

Let us not even speak of shorts. I own two pairs, reserved for days on which I want to torture myself.

Nor am I a fan of the dichotomy that Vegas creates, simultaneously appealing to lowest common denominator (“LOOK! GINORMOUS MARGARITAS YOU CAN DRINK THROUGH A BENDY STRAW!”) while at the same time cultivating an air of exclusivity (Rand and I tried to get a bite to eat inside the Bellagio without a reservation. Do not attempt this, ever).

And yet, even in the face of my own long-standing (and Rand’s even longer-standing) disdain for Vegas, holy crap, did we have fun on our last visit.

Credit goes exclusively to Gray Cargill of SoloFriendly. I emailed Gray right before our trip, and she gave me a heap of suggestions – the first four of which were tips on where I could get decent desserts (I couldn’t love her more for that).

I promise to share of Gray’s advice in painfully exhausting detail, and the adventures that ensued. But right now, I’m at the tail end of another trip, and a wee bit too knackered to do a full write-up, so I hope these photos from our trip to Vegas will tide you over until I get around to it.

1. Hazy sky on the flight in.
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2.  Spicy chili pork dip with veggies, Lotus of Siam restaurant.
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3. Deconstructed signs, the Neon Boneyard.
   

   All the king’s horses and all the king’s men …

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4. Hanging out at the Mob Museum, downtown Las Vegas.
   

   Where Rand and I are found guilty of dorkery in the first degree.

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5. Ginormous bees, the Bellagio Conservatory.–
6. HOLY-CRAP-IT’S-A-CHOCOLATE-FOUNTAIN, Jean-Phillippe Pastisserie.–
7. New York in miniature.
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8. Street art, downtown Las Vegas.
   
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9. A breakfast waffle which, in hindsight, seems like it should have killed us.
   

   Yes, there’s tons of nutella and whipped cream, but there’s also bananas, so, you know … it’s HEALTHY.

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10. Obligatory making out photo, the Bellagio.
    

    Vegas, baby.

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