Where to Pee in Downtown Munich

This is how it begins.

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I have a bladder the size of a chipmunk’s.

No, no – stop praising me on how amazing this is. How it’s so ladylike and really quite Hollywood to have a bladder so svelte and small. That Angelina’s or Gwyneth’s is probably barely bigger than my own.

Because despite how glamorous it sounds, let me tell you: having an itsy-bitsy bladder is NOT as amazing as movies and TV would have you believe. It means that much of my and Rand’s travels are interrupted with side-quests to find toilets. That before we go anywhere – a flight, a drive, a short walk, or even if we are simply moving from the dining room to the living room – I need to run to the bathroom.

“Hold on a sec, babe, I have to pee,” is a phrase uttered in our house even more often than “Dear god woman what is wrong with you?” (-Rand) and “I’m pretty sure that idea will get you arrested.” (-also Rand)

As such, I take note of places that offer wonderful restrooms. High-end department stores are usual great, as are giant fancy hotel chains (Hilton, Hyatt, etc.) But there are perilously few such places in downtown Munich. The square is full of biergartens and open-air cares, all free of toilets. It’s a recipe for a disaster if one has a wee bladder.

Fear not, though: I found a great place to pee in Munich.

It’s even in an actual bathroom. And it is lovely and clean. I didn’t take any actual photos of it or its patrons (See the “arrested” quote from Rand, above), but I can tell you precisely where it is.

If you are looking at the Rathaus – the giant town hall in the center of Munich that houses the glockenspiel – you will see an information office somewhere near the center of it.

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Don’t go in.

Instead, you will see a small entryway just to to the left of it. Walk through there.

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The entryway will lead to a small interior courtyard.

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On the right, under a dark overhang, you will find the best public bathroom in downtown Munich.

This is where the gods would pee, if they needed to pee. But they don't. Because they're gods.

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Be warned: it will cost you. Half a Euro, to be exact (bring change – you can’t get through the turnstile without it).  But the extravagance is worth it, it really is. Inside, you will find a brilliant white bathroom, smelling strongly of disinfectant and faintly of flowers, with smooth tiles, and stalls well-stocked with toilet paper.

Do your business, feeling somewhat like royalty (for surely this is how they must urinate).

Tip the dutiful attendant, if you have any change left. And then head off to enjoy the rest of Munich, for at least a good twenty minutes (or whenever it is that you will need to pee again).

Or just wait until Oktoberfest and pee wherever the heck you want.