A Night in San Francisco (A Play in Two Acts)

The Scene:

San Francisco, on a chilly night.

The Characters:

Geraldine, who is totally awesome.

Rand, who is usually awesome but last night left his dirty laundry in a pile on the bedroom floor, which is so not cool.

Act I:

Geraldine and Rand are walking down a street in San Francisco. It is windy, and they are clutching their coats. They pass an old building with an elaborate entryway. Suddenly, Geraldine starts screaming.

Geraldine: AUUUUGGGHHHHHH!

Rand: GAH! Woman, what is wrong with you?

Geraldine: (still screaming) TAKE A PICTURE! TAKE A PICTURE! TAKE A PICTURE!

Rand: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Geraldine: (struggling to regain composure) I need you to take a picture of me. In that alcove. Immediately.

Rand: Okaaaay …

Geraldine climbs into a recessed alcove in the entryway of the building. Rand snaps a few photos.

They continue their walk. Geraldine asks to see the picture. 

Geraldine: Gah! You didn’t get my shoes.

Rand: Was I supposed to?

Geraldine: YES, you were supposed to get my shoes.

Rand: Sometimes, I really wish you made sense.

They walk off into the night, and evidently Geraldine forgives Rand, because at some point this happened:

Not sure what's going on here. Rand was either adjusting my hat, or looking for head lice.

–

Act II:

Later on …

Rand: Why were you so insistent on getting that photo, anyway?

Geraldine: Because of this …

Rand: Holy crap.

Geraldine: Yeah.

Rand: When was that?

Geraldine: 2005. Just a few days before I turned 25.

Rand: Wow …

There is a pause. And then …

Geraldine: My fashion sense has improved substantially over the years, huh?

Rand: Yup.

–

The End

–

(Psst! Here’s the side-by-side of the two pictures. I spent waaay too long trying to figure out if my thighs have gotten fatter over the last six years.

–

They have. I regret nothing.)