Dear InterContinental Hotel,
I get the feeling you are trying to tell me something. I just can’t figure out what it is …
Perhaps it will come to me after I’ve finished blow-drying my hair in the bathtub.*
*Oh, calm down. I used a sealant to protect my roots. AND ALSO I DID NOT USE A HAIR DRYER IN THE BATHTUB. Electrocution is not funny. Three warning labels on a single hairdryer kind of is, though.