10 photos from Florida …

Posted on
Jun 22, 2010
Posted in: Photos, Top Ten, WTF

I’ve noted before on the blog how strange my upbringing in Florida strikes me sometimes. Compared to Seattle, it is a radically different place: flatter, more conservative, and somehow weirder.

I remember being devastated when we moved away in the middle of my freshman year of high school (this will remain a sore spot in family history for decades, but that’s another story). And while I wish that certain things had played out differently (because walking into a cafeteria as a freshman in the middle of the school year and knowing no one is absolutely terrifying) I am very, very happy that I no longer live in Florida. Not because I don’t love it or the people, but because so much of the stuff I see when I travel down there is so ridiculously jacked up, that I have to take photos.

And that’s just time consuming.

Behold some of the crazier sh*t the hubby and I saw on our last trip.

1. Tea baggers, Ft. Lauderdale, Fl.

Real-life teabaggers! I wish we had photo-bombed them with a sign that says, "Honk if you're scared of black people."

I wish we had photo-bombed them with a sign that says, "Honk if you're scared of black people."

2. Strip mall sign near Tampa, Fl.

Well, I guess consigning your baby is better than just giving it to the Goodwill.

Well, I guess consigning your baby is better than just giving it away.

3. Back of Publix-brand chocolate raisin packaging

I am SO glad they included this. I can't tell you how many times I've bought a bag of candy and thought, "NOW what the hell do I do?"

I am SO glad they included this. I can't tell you how many times I've bought a bag of candy and thought, "NOW what the hell do I do?"

4. Denim Place, Orlando, Fl.

Please, before my head explodes, just explain to me why it's not called "More than just Denim Place."

I had some crack about why it's not called "More than just Denim Place", but now all I can think is that "denim" is a weird word. I mean, it looks weird, right?

5. Bag of Passover plagues, Publix grocery store.

Bubbe either has a wicked sense of humor, or she's had another stroke.

Bubbe either has a wicked sense of humor, or she's had another stroke.

6. Cosmetic surgery office, strip mall near Celebration, Fl.

It was next door to a bar.

It was next door to a bar.

7. Chinese Buffet, Orlando, Fl.

I guess this is slightly preferable to 158 "items".

I guess this is slightly preferable to 158 "items".

8. Nautical Flea Market and Seafood Festival Sign, roadside near Naples, Fl.

If there's one word I like to see in combination with "seafood", it's "flea".

If there's one word I like to see in combination with "seafood", it's "flea".

9. Bill Wong’s strip mall, Orlando, Fl.

You had me at "Massage Tattoo."

You had me at "MASSAGE TATTOO."

10. DayTime TV show, seen at our friends’ house in Tampa. (Yes, the show is actually called DayTime).

This is a drag queen named Dixie Longate. She was being interviewed by, I shit you not, Lindsay from MTV's The Real World: Seattle.

This is a drag queen named Dixie Longate. She was being interviewed by, I shit you not, Lindsay from MTV's The Real World: Seattle.

My brain now hurts. I think I need a massage tattoo.

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