10 photos from our trip to Portland and surrounding wine country

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Forgive me if this post isn’t funny.

I swear, it isn’t my fault. I’ve been trying to shed a couple pounds before being squeezing myself into cocktail dress after cocktail dress (for wedding season is among us) and the first casualty of my reduced caloric intake in my sense of humor. There’s a joke here, something about how that’s why all the girls on Friends were both skinny and unfunny, but I can’t pull it together. If I had a donut, I probably could.

Also, did you notice that Jennifer Aniston makes really bad movie choices? It’s like she’s trying to fail.

Did I mention I’m phoning it in today, too? I’m phoning it in today. Forgive me. Tonight I will eat two pints of gelato, ensuring that tomorrow’s post will be riotous, and also that I won’t fit into anything I own. This is the sacrifice I am willing to make for my blog.

For today, you’ll have to settle for 10 photos from our last trip to Portland (and surrounding wine country).

1. Clyde Common Restaurant, Portland.

They serve popcorn. POPCORN. At a restaurant. Never have I heard of anything so magical.

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2.  Portland at sunset (this time of year, that’s like, 10 pm)

You can't tell from this pic, but counter-culture flows through these streets.

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3. Contemplative Rand.

Being 31 is serious stuff, I suppose.

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4. “Bunny’s For Sale” Sign

I don't know which of its possessions that bunny is selling, but I want it.

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5. Lesbian, Gay, and Heterosexual Cake Toppers, Portland

I thought this was rather sweet.

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6. Winery vineyard, Newberg, OR.

Screw you, Napa!

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7. Coupled lawn chairs, Newberg, OR

There was a cute old couple in these chairs, but I kicked their asses out for a better shot. (I'm kidding. I think one of them died, so they left.)

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8. Frisbee Golf, Oregon Wine Country

Frisbee Golf at a friggin winery. I'm going to try and sell this image to "Stuff White People Like."

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9. Newberg Safeway end-cap, Newberg, OR.

"Holy crap, that's cheap. We should get some." - Rand

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10. Giant Mutant Blueberry, Portland, OR

Notice how I look elated and Rand looks like he'd rather be anywhere else.

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