10 photos from Florida …

I’ve noted before on the blog how strange my upbringing in Florida strikes me sometimes. Compared to Seattle, it is a radically different place: flatter, more conservative, and somehow weirder.

I remember being devastated when we moved away in the middle of my freshman year of high school (this will remain a sore spot in family history for decades, but that’s another story). And while I wish that certain things had played out differently (because walking into a cafeteria as a freshman in the middle of the school year and knowing no one is absolutely terrifying) I am very, very happy that I no longer live in Florida. Not because I don’t love it or the people, but because so much of the stuff I see when I travel down there is so ridiculously jacked up, that I have to take photos.

And that’s just time consuming.

Behold some of the crazier sh*t the hubby and I saw on our last trip.

1. Tea baggers, Ft. Lauderdale, Fl.

I wish we had photo-bombed them with a sign that says, "Honk if you're scared of black people."

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2. Strip mall sign near Tampa, Fl.

Well, I guess consigning your baby is better than just giving it away.

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3. Back of Publix-brand chocolate raisin packaging

I am SO glad they included this. I can't tell you how many times I've bought a bag of candy and thought, "NOW what the hell do I do?"

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4. Denim Place, Orlando, Fl.

I had some crack about why it's not called "More than just Denim Place", but now all I can think is that "denim" is a weird word. I mean, it looks weird, right?

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5. Bag of Passover plagues, Publix grocery store.

Bubbe either has a wicked sense of humor, or she's had another stroke.

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6. Cosmetic surgery office, strip mall near Celebration, Fl.

It was next door to a bar.

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7. Chinese Buffet, Orlando, Fl.

I guess this is slightly preferable to 158 "items".

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8. Nautical Flea Market and Seafood Festival Sign, roadside near Naples, Fl.

If there's one word I like to see in combination with "seafood", it's "flea".

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9. Bill Wong’s strip mall, Orlando, Fl.

You had me at "MASSAGE TATTOO."

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10. DayTime TV show, seen at our friends’ house in Tampa. (Yes, the show is actually called DayTime).

This is a drag queen named Dixie Longate. She was being interviewed by, I shit you not, Lindsay from MTV's The Real World: Seattle.

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My brain now hurts. I think I need a massage tattoo.