The Book

All Over The Place

Available Now

I wrote a book about getting lost and finding yourself and also peeing on things when you are angry. If you liked Twilight, you will probably hate my book.

Buy it now!

Take A famous person’s
word for it:

“Geraldine DeRuiter’s All Over the Place is a travel memoir of sorts, but I’d enjoy reading pretty much any topic she wanted to cover. Her voice is funny, witty and warm, and her stories sparkle.  This book is a travel companion you’ll be happy you brought along.”

~ Lauren Graham, star of GILMORE GIRLS and New York Times bestselling author of TALKING AS FAST AS I CAN

Need more convincing? Read a Deleted Chapter >

The Blog

Happy Thanksgiving. Stay the F*ck Home.

Posted on
Nov 24, 2020
 
Posted in: Random Musings

Ah, Thanksgiving! A holiday we celebrate by playing a game with our families that I like to call “And that’s how you’ve decided to live your life then?” Like Pictionary, you just keep at it until someone cries. Or – hear me out – you could just stay home for the holidays, closing the curtains…

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I Do Not Have The Emotional Bandwidth For A Coup Right Now.

Posted on
Nov 10, 2020
 

Dear GOP, Look, here’s the thing: I’ve got a lot going on right now. I mean, not technically. Technically, I walk around the house nursing a stash of Halloween candy while occasionally changing from “day pajamas” to “night pajamas” (the sartorial differences are subtle but significant). Today I cried while watching a tiktok video, a…

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I Had Mail.

Posted on
Aug 10, 2020
 
Posted in: Personal Essay

Six months into an interminable lockdown, I find myself missing the long dead. The throughline feels like a logical one – it’s a pandemic. Of course I’m thinking about death. Death and the post office. That took me slightly by surprise, even in a year where nothing has been what I’d imagined. I didn’t think…

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Just Wear a Goddamn Mask Already.

Posted on
May 26, 2020
 
Posted in: Personal Essay

  Last week, my kitchen sink collapsed. It fell from the bolts that held it, as though in protest, as though it, too, had had enough of the endless dishes and cooking. I managed to catch the edge of it, sharp even through my yellow latex gloves, and held it up with my fingers and…

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