I have the emotional maturity of an 11-year-old.
A really immature 11-year-old.
Remember how I laughed maniacally at the scene where Jean Claude Van Damme walks around naked in Universal Soldier? Not much has changed since then. I think the human anatomy is hysterical.
I mean, it’s just so squishy and floppy and weirdly dangly. At least, in my experience it is. Your experience with the naked human form might be a thing of hairless, smooth-skinned, muscle-toned beauty.
That’s just fine. Good luck with that. My life is full of cake and dangly bits, and this weird zit that recently appeared – I kid you not – on the tip of my frigging nose.
I laugh at it all.
So just imagine, dear reader, what happened when I walked into the North Third Restaurant in Northern Liberties, Philadelphia, and saw this on the wall:
I’m sorry the picture isn’t better. I was in hysterics, which makes it difficult to actually take a proper photo.
But wait – it gets better. See the lovely gray-haired couple sitting in from of the painting? Those are Rand’s grandparents.
That’s right: my grandparents-in-law were sitting directly in front of a ginormous painting of someone’s rack.
I could not keep it together.
Fortunately, neither could anyone else. We all giggled and pointed and feigned shock. Except for Rand’s grandparents. Talk about maturity. They seemed totally unfazed by the whole thing.
At one point, Rand’s grandfather asked us what we were laughing about. Then he pointed to the painting behind him and said, completely straight-faced, “Why do they have a giant ad for bowling balls?”
Then he turned to Rand’s grandmother. “Did you see the ad?” he asked her, pointing behind him.
“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” she said.
THEY WERE DOING THIS WITH COMPLETELY STRAIGHT FACES. It was amazing. And roughly ten seconds later, they erupted into giggles themselves.
Let me tell you, kids: sometimes being 11 is awesome, no matter how old you are.